The Right Direction

Its dangerous to stop in mid stride. Your smooth trail is broken as you stumble and come to a sharp halt. You find yourself noticing all the flaws that are in your path. You begin to question why you chose this path at all. You stand there as other people walk around you, throwing dirty looks over their shoulders because you have interrupted their day. You stare at the sky. Then you stare at the road. You gaze at the people and wonder why that woman thought that dress was attractive or why that man chose his hairstyle. You notice a wafting distraction and you lift your nose into the air and sniff. You smell coffee and grease and gas. Your revelations are interrupted by the obnoxious honking of an irate driver. 'Hurry up!' he yells, and you watch as he gestures in frustration. Over your shoulder, you hear a babbling teenager. 'I told him to get a life. I don't need a jerk for a boyfriend.' She passes you and you watch and listen as her friends cheer on her decision. 'I said I wanted that deal done today!' You whip your head to the right and spy a woman in a sleek black business suit walking gracefully in her high heels while sniping into her cellphone. Her lips are drawn tight and there is murder in her eyes. You shudder as she passes you and you look up and say a silent prayer thanking God you are not the unfortunate on the other end of the line. To the left you hear a loud buzzing. Across the street, you can see a construction crew working in the hot sun. The workers bare arms are shiny from sweat and their clothes are smeared with tar and grime. The shrill, grating sound of a bull horn causes you to wince. The sulfur reeks and you wrinkle you're nose as a sudden gust of wind blows it your way. You take in the world that is in front of you and all around you. You take in all it's flaws and all it's perfections. Your eyes are drawn back to yourself, back to your own path. You focus your senses on yourself and realize that you have been standing there for quite sometime. You look behind you and see your smooth gait from before. You walked easy and light, evenly and without hesitation. Now you've stopped. You look ahead of you once again. You remember why you chose this path. What was the reason, what is the reason you walk this way? Only you know. You know it and it burns inside you, reigniting your fire and zest for life. You put your hands in your pocket, look down at the pavement, and smirk at yourself. You look up, raise your right foot and place it down in front of your left foot. Once again, you begin walking, easy, light, and without hesitation....

It's dangerous to stop mid stride. Yes, it's very dangerous because when you trip and then stop, you begin to doubt. You doubt your intentions, your motivations, and your choices.

However, sometimes coming to a sharp halt is the best thing. If you are able to look around and observe all that you are not...and still continue on your way, laughing at the doubts that briefly clouded your mind; if you are able to pick up straight where you left off and continue on the same way; if you are able to remember why you started in the first place and if that motivation is still your driving force--then you know you are headed in the right direction.

May the frets be with you.

I'll Open Up To You

Every day, I close my door
To keep the people out.
It gets too loud and noisy here
And I forget what its about.
Sometimes I need a darkness--
An escape from the bright lights
So I close the door behind me
And disappear into the night.
But sometimes, I get lonely
In my quiet solitude,
And I wonder, would you join me
Within my tiny room?
You don't have to stay forever
Though I say, that would be nice.
I promise not to leave you
If you stay with me tonight.
I'll tell you fairy stories
And let you hold me close,
For to be truthful, darling,
You know I like you most.
It could be like a heaven
Here upon this earth,
Cause you're just like an angel
Who's given me new worth.
So, if you'd like to join me
You're more than welcome to
Just knock upon my doorway frame
And I'll open up to you.

Winter Fairies

I caught the winter fairies
And put them in a jar,
And they shimmered and they glistened
Just like a morning star.
Their wings were made of baby laughs
And sparkled in the sun,
And while I kept them locked up tight,
They whispered, "Winter, come!"
And so I let them fly away
To let their magic grow,
And when I woke within the night,
Dawn was covered in the snow.
The sun arose and tried to melt
The fairies' late night work,
Though some of it was washed away,
The rest remained unhurt.
They drew me pretty pictures
Upon my window glass,
Such fine, delicate symmetry--
Too fine for it to last.
Five years have passed since I've seen
A winter fairy's thumb.
But when the leaves fall from the trees,
I hear them whisper: "Winter, come!"

He...

The wind whispers evils in my ear,
The rain portrays my tears
The trees reach out their craggy claws
To feed me empty fears.

I must have strayed within my sleep
To lose myself this deep
The path is crooked, long and dark
With sadness there to reap.

My head is bruised, my hand is cut
I feel the blood is pouring but--

His voice whispers love within my ear,
Which pulls me back from here
His fierce warmth soothes my weary soul
And kills the empty fears.

Camaraderie

It saddens me, the way people change. You think you've got your best friends and good friends and that life can't change. You think they are always gonna be there for you, no matter what...but young people grow up, discover themselves, discover the people around them, and expand their horizons. Apparently if you're close, you expand with them, or at least are constantly informed of their next moves.

Not true. Over the course of the summer through to now, three of my best friends took flight and disappeared...College is a really big factor in this problem, as is work. We don't have time for each other any more...no more time for late night phone calls, constant texting, and sleepovers. We've become 'mini-adults' and our lives are based around money and education. Yet, another huge factor is romantic relationships.

Too often, way too often, when you get into a relationship, you forget about your friends. You get caught up in your puppy love and want to be with him/her all the time. Typically, a normal crush lasts about 4 months...4 months of ignoring your friends leads to a much longer time trying to make it up to them. This isn't easy at all, when your friend picks their date over you, even though you've been around longer. Granted, couples do need time together--but not at the expenses of losing their friends.

And sometimes, people just change... You grow up, you move on...but...

I miss my three friends so much. I know I am to blame just as much as anyone for the change and shift in our friendship. I too have spread my wings and gone into new regions. I have new people in my life, new friends, new problems, new solutions that my old friends are not apart of.

But check out that picture. See the camaraderie? I would give anything, absolutely anything to go back in time with my three friends to when we talked til three a.m., we texted all day, and we planned whole days together. I wish we could find some way to re-establish our closeness.

Hopefully, someday that will happen.

Learn from my lesson--keep your friends close--they are one of your most valuable possessions.

May the frets be with you.

Only If You Let It Be So...

We all know that I am madly, passionately in love with my guitars. They are the very essence of who I am and who I hope to become--elegant, beautiful, calming, cooperative, mysterious, charming, and pleasant. Yes, we all know I am in love with my guitars. This fact is nothing new.

I noticed something today, looking back at older posts. I noticed that when I write about my babies, I write as if they are people. They have genders, they have special qualities, and when I write of them, its almost sensuous. However, I know that almost every guitarist feels the same way. To them, just as to me, their instrument has a soul.

For me, love is not just a word, not just a feeling...it is a definition of the soul...and the definition of two souls becoming one. It makes me sad to see how this sacred word is thrown around nowadays. We no longer separate love from crush or attraction. True love is not based on the physical, it is based on the soul. Love is when you are willing to live or die for that one special person.

One Special Person. Not the new boy every week, not the new girl each night, but that one person you can't imagine living without. The one you go to both in moments of joy and moments of sadness. The one you can share life and beliefs with, where you can express your love of God, and have it be reciprocated. The one that understands you before you even begin. The one who looks out for you like no other, who corrects you when you're wrong, applauds you when you're right, stands by you through the storm, and is always there when you wake up in the morning. When you return their love with an unselfish love and take joy in bringing them pleasure and peace, you can't go wrong. When you love with an unselfish love, and put your special person first, the result is an amazing thing.

Its a beautiful thing.

I am madly, passionately in love with my guitars.

I couldn't live a day without them.

They are a part of my soul.

For their comfort and love, I give them safety and loving care.

Should it not be the same in a human relationship?

Life is too short to play with things like love. If you want a love that will last a lifetime, then wait for it...patiently....

Love transcends all physical boundaries.

But only...if you let it...be so.

May the frets be with you.

Did You Hear The Weights Fall?

Have you ever felt that feeling like your world has just been rocked and now you're standing sideways and you have to hold everything up to keep it from falling? If you haven't, then count your blessings, however stressful your life may be. Its not an experience you want to add to your collection of knowledge. If you have felt that feeling, then I hope you have a day, someday, like the days I had yesterday and today.

Vindication Day. The day when everything is made right...basically everything anyway. Your world is righted and you can safely put down your heavy weights. You're allowed to enter into a more 'normal' or at least quiet type of mood. I had my vindication day.

I'm feeling very inspired right now. Its the perfect time to be writing a song, pouring my soul out into the guitar. Its the perfect time to strike a beat to the rhythm of my heart, and to feel the strings beneath my fingers, bending at my will, the guitar body pressed close against mine, hugging me, reassuring me. Its the perfect time to let my mind, soul, and body to become one with the guitar and to be joined through the bonds of melody. Its the perfect time to fall in love with my guitar all over again, only deeper and more passionately. I long to feel the smooth touch and hear my baby's gentle voice. He's calling to me, begging me to play him and move him in the way that only I can. My eyes can roll close and my tones can become hushed if I let him carry me away into the place where only he and I go. So why, why am I still here when I could be wrapped up in melodious bliss?

That's a good question....

Adios!

May the frets be with you.