Born To Choose

I saw something on Facebook yesterday that really disturbed me. It was a status a friend of mine had shared. This status was from a women who talked about her life leading up to today. She talked about being raped at various stages of her childhood, turning to drugs and alcohol, and then becoming a satanist til God then intervened in her life and saved her. So far, it sounds like an amazing testimony. Until I saw the next line which read that God saved her so she could spread the word that being gay is a choice and that no one is born gay.

Her story is that because she was molested, she was afraid of men and she questioned her sexuality because she was attracted to women. She decided (made a choice) to pursue that feeling. She slept with as many women as she could and dared people of faith to attack her. And they did - she was bullied and persecuted for what she was doing.

Eventually she became saved and she says she was saved from the lie she was living. Now she is persecuted for turning the other way and changing her way of life. She says that she now understands both sides and she has a right to say being gay is a choice, not something you are born as.

This is a difficult subject to discuss. This woman has clearly lived a burdened life and been through many trials.

However.

I feel she is wrong for saying she has a right to say you cannot be born gay.

And here is why: I can tell a similar story.

I was raped and molested through out my childhood and early adult hood. The first porn that I ever saw was a magazine that belonged to my stepfather, who was also my abuser. I found it by accident when I was cleaning. It scared the life out of me. It confused me. It made me think and feel things that immediately made me feel ashamed and disgusting. I threw it away. But after years of being subject to sexual depravity and learning to associate sex with pain and love with rape, when I reached puberty and became a woman, I believed that I didn't like what he was doing because I was gay.

I cannot tell you the agony my teenage mind lived through during that period. It took years and living through a very bad dating relationship with a bad man to undo the damage of those years.

I am not gay. I am married to the love of my life, a strong, intelligent young man whom I would do anything for.

I did not make the same choices as the woman from above. She chose one path and I chose another. It could have easily gone either way. When a person destroys you and makes you into a toy for amusement...it changes you in more ways than you realize.

I have read articles of young women so traumatized and changed that yes, they do prefer the company of other women than men. I cannot blame them. Sometimes you cannot fix what has occured, you can only go forward and make a change. They changed, and they changed for the better and they found a way to move on with their life and make something positive out of a tragedy.

How dare you condemn that choice?

When I was in college, I spent many classes studying psychology; gender psychology, child psychology, basic psychology, etc. I took these classes trying to figure out more things about myself. Why was I how I was and what caused it? Along the way, we learned about the differences between males and females, brain wise. Did you know that male brains and female brains are shaped differently? They are. You can tell the difference between the two, not just by how the brain lights up when a person thinks or feels emotion, but also because of a unique structural difference. Now, did you know that we are all female at conception? That's why men have nipples that serve no function. They are left over from when they were females. How fascinating is that? I think that it is incredible.

For those of you who bash the idea that you cannot be born gay, have you ever taken time to do some research? Have you ever examined the differences between male and female brains?

It is biologically possible to have a female brain in a male body and vice versa. It is also possible to have a male mind with dominate female traits and vice versa.

So yes, I believe with all of my heart that you can be born gay. I also believe with all of my heart that you can choose to be gay.

If you are Christian, we live by the adage that God makes no mistakes and that He is the creator of all things.

If you believe that, how dare you say that the gay and lesbian population are mistakes and blasphemies of God?

There is not a righteous man among us, there is not a person who can call himself good. Yet you so easily condemn the people beside you?

How many have committed adultery? How many of lied? Stolen? Coveted? Used His name in vain?

Blasphemies.

So how dare you play God and condemn.

Jesus' message was simple: love, and show grace.

Everytime you use hateful speech toward any person or thing, you are walking over the very teaching you claim to promote.

In closing, I will share a Facebook post I wrote in response to the legalization of gay marriage:

"I am disappointed in many of my Christian friends who have very loudly voiced their opinions on the legalization of gay marriage. I'm talking about the hateful ones. The ones who bitterly insist that it is the gays fault our world is ending. 

Update people. When women earned the right to vote, it was the end of the world. May I respectfully remind you that biblically speaking women are to be silent when it comes to positions of power.

When African Americans earned their freedom it was the end of the world! It was 'unchristianlike' to be associated with them.

Perhaps go back further when divorce became legal. Need I remind that the Bible said no divorce save for adultery or infidelity.

The truth is people, it is not your job as a Christian to have an opinion. It is your job to walk as Jesus did with love and grace. No, you don't need to agree. You don't need to understand. But you do need to see these people for who they are - creations of God. Beautiful, beautiful creations who are human like the rest us.

It is not the gays fault our world is broken. We did it to ourselves and we do it every waking moment. This world is what we as a human race have created. 

So blame yourself.

Why do you think the world is divided? We pick things to fight about on purpose so we can feel more righteous about ourselves. 

Shame on all of us!!

I do not see Jesus in your hateful, ignorant posts. What then, is the point of your opinion when you automatically alienate those whom you desire to reach?"

Where is love?

We all make choices. Is there grace for your choice?

May the Frets be with you.