Ravven's Private Thoughts On Love

What is love? Is it some inexplicable feeling that comes and goes as it pleases? Is it truly blind? And why must it cause so much pain? And is it worth the pain?

In the Merriam Webster Dictionary, there are several definitions of love. The first one covers almost everything:

'a (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties love for a child> (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests love for his old schoolmates'

Love is among the top most things that the human species has ever been written about. Countless ballads, poems, fairytales and books are dedicated to showing what true love really is, whether the love is between God and human, husband and wife, parent and child, siblings, or lovers. In the old days, you read about the knight in shining armor who risked everything to be with his lady love. It was innocent and pure.

Unfortunately for us today, love has been taken and twisted from what it was originally meant to be. Magazines, books, tv shows, and movies convince us that sex equals love and many young people proclaim deep love for each other as soon as they enter a relationship. First of all, sex does not equal love. That is what is known as lust. It comes and goes and it can attract you to anything and anyone. When it's over, it's over and you have just given yourself way...again. And for what? When you have relations just because it feels good or looks good and there is no deep love, affection, or care, it's just lust. Secondly, I can't tell you how often I see the young people on my page get together and break up with in weeks and still call it love. That's not real love. That's what used to be called a crush, or puppy love.

I am not claiming to be an expert on love and what it is about. However, I can tell you this - love is something divine. It is the feeling of giving everything away for your object of affection. To be that all in all, to provide, to care for, to support, and to honor. In my own life, love is not just a feeling.

Love is a way of life.

The human creature was designed with the ability to love and be loved. The greatest thing a person can do is to love. It is not easy to do at times. I live with five brothers and do I feel the love everyday? Not by far. But if you want a love that stays, if you want something real to hold onto, then you have to give it out. Give it out even if you don't get it back, because you never know who you will touch. When you turn love into a way of life, you know that it's there, you know it exists and you know that someday, someone will love you.

They say you can't help who you love and maybe that is true. I believe you can choose to love a fellow man, but I don't believe you can choose to fall in love with one. I think it just happens. Many people say love is blind. I don't believe love is blind in the essence that it cannot see your faults. When you are dedicated to someone, you see their faults and love them despite that. You recognize that they are not perfect and love them anyway. You find an imperfect person, perfect simply because you accept them for who they are. That is true love. You stick with them despite the arguments, mistakes, and misunderstandings. You find a way to make it work because you can't imagine life without that person. They are worth the fight.

But sometimes love really bites. It can hurt so bad that you think you can't go on, when you lose someone dear to you, when someone you love walks away, or, and possibly the worst one, you love someone and they just don't feel the same way.

All things that bring joy, bring pain. It's just the way life is. Love is no different. I think the important thing to remember is that depsite the pain, there will be another chance. What's important is that you were able to feel those feelings. The real problem is when you become so jaded and hard that you can no longer give or receive love. While yes, you need to guard your heart and choose carefully what you do, it's important to recognize your feelings and face them rather than hide and pretend they aren't there. In the long run, hiding your feelings will cause more pain than laying them out on the table. Even if they aren't reciprocated, it's always better to know rather than to spend your life wondering 'what if'.

So is it worth it? Yes. Think about all the good memories you have. How could you ever regret that? Never regret loving someone whether they be lover, family member, or friend. We are meant to love.

I know what it's like to live without love and to hunger for it and never get it. I think we all do to some extent. That's why love is so precious to me. I want to give love to everyone because everyone deserves to feel it. You should never have to go without it. Love is not to be toyed with or flung around and misused, but neither is to be kept hidden and locked up. You must look inside yourself and find your own balancing point.

Choose wisely and act carefully, but never be afraid to love. Love is divine.

So are you.

'Beloved, let us also love one another, for love is of God....' 1John 4:7a


May the frets be with you.