Come On Baby, Let Me Creep On You

Writing a love song to declare your passion is one of the oldest, purest forms of affection. From rhythmic ballad to bouncy hip hop, love has danced through the ages on the floor of song. I myself have written many love songs. Some were for my boyfriend, some were for my God, and some were for my family. I also wrote one about this amazing burger that I once had that can never be recreated or replaced. That song is gonna get me platinum, I know.

I find it's hard to write a good love song that isn't corny, syrupy sweet, or cliched to death. Saying, 'I love you forever', 'you're the only one for me', 'it was love at first sight', 'i couldn't live without you', etc, is more than likely going to make me throw up a little in my mouth. Oh god. I think I just did.

In my music class this semester, my professor showed us this awesome website, (which, yes, I will post) about how to write the perfect love song. The insight was awesome and really gave me some fabulous ideas.

And then he showed us a website with how to write a creepy, I-will-chop-you-into-a-million-pieces-and-bury-you-in-New-Jersey-when-you-refuse-my-love song. I'm not even joking.

Seriously, as I was reading the lyrics for these songs, I couldn't help but wonder, what were you thinking?!?! Well, duh, they obviously weren't. Or if they were, they were thinking with the wrong head.

So please, don't let me laugh alone. I'll even include links to the lyrics so you don't even have to look them up. And no, I am not obssessing, so stop thinking that:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/alida-nugent/10-incredibly-creepy-song_b_810825.html?ref=email_share#s226089&title=All_My_Life

"All My Life": K-Ci & Jojo - http://www.metrolyrics.com/all-my-life-lyrics-kci-jojo.html

"I Knew I Loved You": Savage Garden -http://www.metrolyrics.com/i-knew-i-loved-you-lyrics-savage-garden.html

"Across The Sea": Weezer - http://www.metrolyrics.com/across-the-sea-lyrics-weezer.html

"Baby It's Cold Outside": The kids from 'Glee,' a million other people - http://www.metrolyrics.com/baby-its-cold-outside-lyrics-glee.html

"Please Don't Stand So Close To Me": The Police - http://www.metrolyrics.com/dont-stand-so-close-to-me-lyrics-the-police.html

"The Girl Is Mine": Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney - http://www.metrolyrics.com/the-girl-is-mine-lyrics-michael-jackson.html

"Invisible": Clay Aiken - http://www.metrolyrics.com/invisible-lyrics-clay-aiken.html

"Forever": Chris Brown - http://www.metrolyrics.com/forever-lyrics-chris-brown.html

"As Long As You Love Me": Backstreet Boys - http://www.metrolyrics.com/as-long-as-you-love-me-lyrics-backstreet-boys.html

"Hello": Lionel Richie - http://www.metrolyrics.com/hello-lyrics-lionel-richie.html

I think the one that creeped me out most was 'Across The Sea' by Weezer. I mean, come on....I wanna know what clothes you wear to school...I wanna know how you touch yourself...but I can't so...I'll just lick and sniff this envelope...instead. Crap. Gotta rinse out my mouth again. I feel like no matter how hard I try to brush this off of me, I can't. It's just....weird!


But. Now that you've had a taste for things that won't woo your lover, try this site -->http://blog.songtrust.com/songwriting-tips/5-ways-to-write-the-perfect-love-song/
It's got some good, practical advice that won't make you sound like a disturbed stalker. Serenade your significant other with some real meaning and appreciation, as I intend to do. And when I fail miserably and end up writing the 11th creepy love song, I'll put it up for you to laugh at.

May the frets be with you.