Why Mess Up A Good Thing? Finding Unshakable Joy

Sometimes in life you are given a chance at happiness. There have been moments in my life when I have been very happy. Things would be going well and I would think there couldn't be anything better that could possibly happen.

With great happiness comes great pain. It  is true when they say that nothing lasts forever. What was with you today can be gone from you tomorrow. I have learned this very cruel and cold lesson many times, more than I could care for. However, I would be foolish in believing that I was all alone in that feeling. It could be the loss of a loved one, a disappointment, a lost job, a break up, marriage problems, financial situations, family unrest, sickness, or just a feeling of being overwhelmed. But just as we all know that we each brave these travesties and live them, we also know that eventually the sun will come out again and the world will be made new. You will be able to stand up and lift your head. You will be able to laugh for real, not just because you're trying to hide your pain; and your eyes will shine and not be swollen from tears.

Sometimes, it's hard to accept happiness when it comes your way. I know it can be, for me. My father was killed in an accident before I was born, my stepfather was abusive, and then the man I grew close to and loved like a father after we left my stepfather, also passed away in an accident. It's been a year and two months since he died and I miss him everyday. There is an older man in my life who I would like to love. I would like to look at him as a father figure. I would love to show him my grades and my music and have him tell me I did good. Whether I acknowledge it or not, I look up to him. I wish I could give him a hug. I wish I could  have serious talks with him.  Something holds me back though - the insecurity that he'll disappear like all the rest. I'm pretty happy with how things are right now. Why take a risk and mess up something good?

For sixteen months, I dated a man who I thought I would be with forever and I thought I was very happy. I loved him like nothing ever before. He was my sunrise, my sunset, and the evening moon. I was willing to do anything for him - and pretty much did. Unfortunately for me, I was too in love and too pig headed to see what was going on. He took advantage of me left and right, stood me up, kept me waiting, chose himself over me, and broke my heart over and over. He would tell me that 'other guys would just leave you because of your problems and issues. I put up with a lot from you and I choose to stay so I deserve some grace.' So I believed him. I believed he was the only one who would 'love' me despite my past. He disrespected me and my family. One day, I found out he was interacting indecently with other females. He was cheating on me. The saddest part is that I knew he was doing so for our whole relationship, but I chose to look the other way and believe his lies. When he told me that it meant nothing and that I was overreacting and then went on to tell me that he could never promise me to not do it again, I knew it was over.

When I was with him, I believed I was 'happy' and that it couldn't get better than it was. After we broke up, I felt I would never be happy again. I felt like the part of my heart that gave me the ability to love was broken.

So now I've been single for two months. It feels like its been longer than two months, but that's because I keep busy. I have close friends I hang out with and a job I work my butt off at. I am very happy. I really am. Right now I believe that it can't really get any better than this. Why mess up something good?

There's a young man who knocks on my front door. I've known him almost a year now. He's quiet and gentle, but fun with a very dry sense of humor. He opens the car door for me (when I let him) and keeps the spiders far away when we walk on the bridge over the river. He plays with my brothers and interacts with my mother. He respects me. He keeps his distance and still treats me like a princess. I consider him one of my best friends. When I was contemplating breaking up with my ex, he was the only one of my friends who didn't tell me what to do. He didn't try to sway me and he didn't call my ex a bunch of bad names. He simply said I had to pray about it and figure it out for myself because if I listened to everyone else, I would never know if it was my choice or not. His parents love me like their own and I am always welcome in their house.

He's an amazing friend. Why mess up a good thing?

Jesus Christ never promised happiness, He promised joy. The joy that comes from serving Him and following His will. I am very happy right now, but I can honestly say that when this happiness subsides, I will still have joy. Like I once wrote before, He is restoring all that was taken from me and healing all that was broken in me. It has taken me awhile, but I have finally realized that happiness is only temporary. Joy is the thing that remains and joy is the reason things can only get better. I am happy with my life and where I am, but I also have great joy.

Why mess up a good thing? I'd rather lose my happiness and keep my joy, so this time around, I'm truly letting God take control. If I'm meant to have a father, he will provide one. Maybe he already has, and I need to let go of my temporary happiness, my security of feeling safe and not vulnerable,  so that I can find joy. When I gave up my ex, I had some very unhappy days, but I attained great joy. I'm very happy with the way things are with my friend. Maybe someday that will turn into great joy as well, but I'm leaving that in God's hands.

What I'm trying to tell you is that even if you are struggling and even if you are feeling like you are dying and running out of options, if you look to Him, He will give you great joy. He will give you peace and clarity and direction!  Life is not about happiness - it's about living out of love for Him! Your dark moment will pass, but it will be much easier to get through if you possess the unshakable joy of loving the Lord. I can honestly say that if it weren't for the joy He placed in my soul, I wouldn't be here today, to encourage you to lift your eyes and bend your knees. Seek Him!! Love Him!! If you want to be truly happy, if you want a reason to live, then seek the heart of the Lord! His joy is never ending!

Happiness is a feeling, joy is a way of life. With great happiness comes great pain, but pain is also just a feeling.

May the frets be with you.