Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Will You Love Me?

I am not a wise person, and I will never claim to be. I have a foolish heart, a stubborn mind, and a wayward spirit. Will you love me?

I am overweight. I have the curves of a woman, but society condemns me. Will you love me?

I am incredibly bossy. I try not to be, but I am. Will you love me?

I am not a tidy house keeper. I hardly cook. Will you love me?

I had no father. I am always trying to fill that hole and there for I am always guarded and lonely. Will you love me?

I am insecure. I know you're going to leave me, I just know it. You can't want me. I'm worthless. Will you love me?

I have nightmares. I wake up screaming and crying. I never know where I am. I'm terrified of the dark. Will you love me?

I'm a cutter. I have so many scars on my legs and on my arms. Sometimes I still do it, to try and control the pain in my life. Will you love me?

I'm a rape survivor. I am scarred. I'm afraid of human touch, even by those close to me. I carry this with me everyday. It's always in the back of my mind. Will you love me?

I'm an abuse survivor. I startle easily. I flinch. I'm always looking over my shoulder. I am afraid to speak. Will you love me?

I'm a 21 year old college student. I have A and B grades and a 3.0 GPA. I go to all my classes and do all my homework. I participate in class and study for my tests. Will you love me?

I'm  a gifted musician. I play guitar and sing and write my own melodies. I record and upload my music and offer it to the world. I give lessons. Will you love me?

I am all these things, and more. I'm letting you see my imperfections, my impurities. I'm letting you see the things I am proud of, but also the things I am ashamed of.

Perhaps you will love me. But then I know, how can you love an unlovable creature? Something that has such hideous scars and a past black as death?

Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God. who loved me and gave himself for me.

You can't. But He can.

In His eyes, I am not fatherless, alone, abused, neglected, a rape victim, or scarred. He has made me new. He kissed my life and turned those scars into beauty marks. I am not my past. I am a glorious creation. He is restoring all that was taken from me, and healing all that was broken in me. He wants to know all about me. He wants me to babble about my day and come to him when I'm alone and sad. He wants to dry my tears.He wants to laugh with me. He is my best friend, my lover, my salvation.

I don't care whether you decide to accept me and love me.

He loves me. That is all I need.

May the frets be with you.

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