What Lies Inside

I firmly believe that a great portion of errant behavior and misguided mistakes could have been avoided if someone, somewhere, had told the lost person 'you are good enough' or 'I love you' or 'I will be there for you' and then followed through and gave them a reason to believe it.

People now a days are always out with something to prove, be it power, strength, money, will, sex, intelligence, etc. There is a constant pressure to be bigger and better. You must do this to become this and don't look back and don't falter and for God's sake get your act together because you can't just be a human.

Through the ages, men and women have power-played each other to get the upper hand. Today we have a steadily growing vice of feminism sweeping the nation. As a women myself, I am all for women's rights. I do believe we should be treated equally and be respected. We should not have to fear sleeping in our own beds or going to the local grocery store or taking a high position in a company. Women have a lot to offer the world. However, I can't be classified as a feminist. I disagree with the hardcore manhaters. Women are different than men. We think and behave differently and our level of reasoning and coming to a decision is pretty much a different way of life than that of a man. How could you expect them to be the same and demand the same? More importantly, how dare you?

Women have gifts that men do not. Time has shown us that we are mighty teachers, lovers, healers, and most importantly, mothers. We possess a gift that no man can ever know: motherhood. Yet so many women are mortified with the idea of motherhood. I was told once that I was wasting myself getting married so young and planning on children. I beg your pardon but if you want to be out there in the world, please do so but respect the fact that my wants are different than yours.

So what made women scorn their own identity? Well, obviously, they were just not good enough being who they were. Decades of being told where they belonged and how they were to behave and at the same time degrading their positions and belittling what they are capable of - what would you expect?

I feel sorry for the men. Men have a lot to deal with in the face of this radical society that we live in. They need to be better providers, smarter businessmen, more dedicated fathers and husbands. They must never screw up, never think twice, and must never break down. They do not cry, they do not whine, and if they do shame on them! Society teaches boys not to cry or show emotion and then condemns them for being heartless. Does anyone else see a problem here?

Enough with men and women. They are hopeless. Hopeless because they refuse to change. They are too ashamed of who they are.

Let's talk about children. Let's talk about bullying.

It is one of the most heinous crimes I can think of. It has some of the most devastating outcomes. Children are so impressionable. They take so much of the bad things to heart. How many times has your child told you they were being bullied? How many times have you seen the signs? What have you done to stop it?

Childhood is where the first seed of self hatred is planted. It blossoms through middle school and typically reaches its peak in high school. Have you ever listened to the snide comments children say?

'You're so ugly, go kill yourself!'

"God, you are so goddamn disgusting. Please move out of the way so I don't catch something."

"Was I talking to you? No. I rather talk to a wall, then be caught dead talking to someone as low as you."

"Hey, you may not notice this but you're kind of poor. Like really, really poor. Kind of trashy too."

"That was your mother? HA! That?! Well everything makes sense now."

 "Listen, if I were you, I would have killed myself a long, long time ago." 

Have you done anything to stop it? When they come home at night do you tell them its going to be ok? That they are just bullies that they have to ignore? That doesn't work. Bullies don't go away because you ignore them. Have you considered what that bullied child is going to grow up to become? The cycle is never ending.

And bullies don't have to be at school. They can be parents, teachers, coaches, friends, pastors, employers, etc. They are everywhere.

I can tell you from experience that when someone goes out of their way to make you feel worthless and  disgusting that feeling stays with you. You either fight it your whole life or you end up believing it. Sometimes, it's a little of both.

You give up your identity because you are ashamed of it and you go off into the world with a chip on your shoulder and something to prove. And not for one second can you look back or mess up because then you know they were right!

I suppose this blogpost has turned into a bit of a ramble and I apologize for that. Sometimes it is hard for me to clearly state something that I feel so passionate about. I see these things everyday. I watched it happen in my own family. It is devastating.

Be kind to the people around you. You very well might be the only kindness they see today. Try to remember that you don't know what's going on in someone else's life.

How different this world be if the cold shoulders, the disapproving stares, and the confirmation of self depricating words were never shown or spoken.

How different indeed.

We struggle every day in this world. Wouldn't it be so much easier if men and women could accept the differences they have and live in harmony? If we could learn to work together, our strengths and weaknesses would balance each other out. We wouldn't have to struggle so much.

We'd probably even like ourselves.

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."– Ralph Waldo Emerson

What lies within you?

Yourself or the self society dictates you be?

May the Frets be with you.